Many of you may be familiar with an
ideology called the 5 Love Languages. They consist of: Words of Affirmation,
Quality time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. A man by
the name of Dr. Gary Chapman came up with these ideas and explained why these
steps and actions are crucial to any type of relationship. Let me share how it impacted
my life.
It was
the end of another amazing date and we felt like spending the rest of the night
together, so we headed back to his apartment. We stepped foot in the door and
plopped ourselves at the left side of the couch. The couch was well worn,
brown, and something you might find in Grandma’s house – and it eats
everything, so don’t leave your keys on there.)
His roommates were in the kitchen discussing a familiar topic to me, but
a foreign topic him. They were discussing the 5 love languages. I started
explaining what each of them were and how it affected me and could affect him.
At the end of the night, I knew he loved receiving gifts as a way of showing my
affection, and he knew I needed the Words of Affirmation.
But,
that’s not the end of our story. I mentioned Dr. Gary Chapman at the very
beginning and he explains that the love language, in this case, of my
significant other has to be worked at. It doesn’t come naturally for me to
express myself in that way. The majority of the time, we express ourselves to
other people in the way that we need to be shown approval.
So, we worked on it. We made a special effort in supporting each other in our needs. One way that he expressed that he loved me through words, was the act of sending me 100 reasons why he loved me. They didn’t come all at once, but they came in segments of 5 or ten, or whenever he remembered. They came through letters, voicemails on my phone, text messages, and any other way he could get them to me. His five reasons of why he loved me turned into 25, then 55, and 75. Between all of these messages, we were apart for 5 months between semesters, and by the time we were back together, he was at reason 85. The way he shared the last 15 is my absolute favorite.
It was January 3rd, and it was our first date back in Rexburg together. We decided to head over to Sammy’s which is where our very first date was. For some reason, I noticed that he wasn’t super hungry, which was odd, because he can always eat a ton and this was just a burger! After taking a few more bites, he headed off to get some napkins and when he got back he challenged me to an eating contest (again, odd) because he knows that he can eat faster than me. But, I took the challenge, and unfortunately, WON. After this embarrassing and quite unusual occurrence, he grabbed all the napkins and said “Lets have popcorn”. So we headed to the car and thought we were headed to Broulims to pick some up, but we went the complete opposite way. I decided to see how this was all going to play out so I sat and waited. He drove me up right across from the Rexburg temple to the empty field and said, “I have a surprise.” I was sufficiently confused at this point but I got out of the car and we started walking into the field. There was snow, and mud, and I was worried about tripping over myself because there were mounds everywhere! I held him close and kept my eyes on the ground as we walked. Eventually, I looked up and saw candles, and a bench, and I looked over at him for the first time since we had been at the field and he was looking down at me, beaming. I was so taken off guard that I paused, looked at what was in front of me and sprinted to the bench. As I got closer, I realized there were blankets, and the candles were in a circle around the bench. I sat there and I waited for him to catch up, he walked slowly, and couldn’t stop smiling. He eventually got to the bench and he took my hand and said, I have something to tell you. He pulled out his last note of reasons 86-99 and as I read them, he looked at me. Reason 100 was missing, though, so I looked up at him and asked him what the last one was, and he said, I love you because you are my best friend, and my fiancé. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.
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